Author: Nyamuka Admin

Slow down….. I’ve got you.

Either the scariest thing for me to do or the stupidest.21 days to go. 3 weeks exactly from today I will be sleeping with a sheep for the night. Just so that it can be killed and consumed by me the next day…Graduation. Things are coming to a closure here for ithwasa and the new beginnings are starting to sprout. Skirts and bead work are done. Busy with the arm and headband beadwork. My fingers have blood blisters from the […]

What do you want?

At Insight light training centre this is a question that gets asked to you for 2 days straight. There is only one answer and no matter what you say they keep asking the question. Over and over until you get it. Turning point. It’s the name of 1 of 3 workshops they offer. Turning point is a 5 day programme that is held thru the night. Its designed so that you can face your hangups… clear the cup of all […]


What’s hiding underneath, always seems to be lurking. The truth will always come out. The heat is on now. The final count down has begun and it brings with it new adventures. My outfit is being made. The goats, the sheep and the hukus are being bought. The dollos training is completed. My now 5 ancestors have all come out and been introduced and shown themselves. Celebrations are the order of the day. My fears have been swept away and […]

Beliefs. Traditions. Religions & Sangomas

Being pushed into the the pool when you cannot swim feels like a punishment until you win your first gold medal. When I was about 4 or 5 my twin cousins got sick of me needing them in the pool in order to swim. As a last born, it came with all the spoiled privilege, including older cousins who sometimes get saddled with your spoiled ass. And they just about had enough of me. I still remember clinging on to […]

Do you believe in Miracles?

Because it’s like magic. Small part of my daily routine. Drumming sessions. They now happen once a day. In the evenings. Sjoe… the work out. Lost 4kg in 2 weeks. I have 5 left to reach my goal weight. No sugar no milk no bread. And then this. I didn’t even realise I had muscle under that flab. But the pain in my gut is a clear indication. My 3 ancestors. Each one gets a chance to come out and […]

Sex, Seduction and Saints

Energy is continually flowing attracting it’s own kind. I was sexually abused as a child. Molested. Took me years to “figure that shit out” and not openly display and “daddy issues” I might have had. Mrs Piggy is the name I gave my alter ego. The one who enjoys being tied up hands and feet spread out against the wall posts in the living room. While being called a dirty little girl and being wiped. Mrs Piggy, the one who […]

Respect is nothing but love

Chicken shit or chicken soup for the soul. Every morning when I get up to use the long drop, the night is still in the air and the only thing making a noise is, are the chickens. I bought these very cheap but incredibly warm pairs of white socks. (Not allowed to wear colors other than red. Black and white). Since shoes are a no go unless you leave the yard, I was quite pleased with the purchase. It would […]

Trust is earned

When you give up control and find yourself amongst your own. It’s been to long since I have found myself surrounded by humans that care. I mean, just purely care. No self interest. No tit for tat. I moved to a township to do my ithwasa. I knew I was going to have to let go of some of my luxury living and eating habits. I mean Its pap and…… and pap and…. and pap and…. every single night. I […]

Ithwasa, what a way to reform.

Sociopathic control leads to complete powerlessness. Control is a form of power for the powerless. Lying in bed, tired, sore and drained. Staring at a light that is the main source of irritation. All I can imagine is that if the light were a person I would give it a piece of my mind. And so I did.However as with all things were anger and irritation are involved, letting go is a process. A process that conflicts with self indulging […]

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